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Navigating The Teen Years: It's Their Job to Drive Us Crazy

Seeded on Sat Sep 25, 2010 12:22 PM EDT
Read ArticleArticle Source: The Huffington Post
health, parenting, teens, teenagers, raising-children, teenage-girls, raising-teenagers, yes-your-teen-is-crazy
Seeded by GOZO-unlimited
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Overnight my daughter went from a happy-go-lucky, affectionate rule follower, to cynical, eye-rolling preteen. And my only line of defense is looking at her and thinking loudly in my head, "Who are you?"

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GOZO-unlimited

Erikson's psychosocial theory basically asserts that people experience eight 'psychosocial crisis stages' which significantly affect each person's development and personality. Joan Erikson described a 'ninth' stage after Erik's death, but the eight stage model is most commonly referenced and is regarded as the standard. (Joan Erikson's work on the 'ninth stage' appears in her 1996 revisions to The Life Cycle Completed: A Review, and will in the future be summarised on this page.)

Erikson's theory refers to 'psychosocial crisis' (or psychosocial crises, being the plural). This term is an extension of Sigmund Freud's use of the word 'crisis', which represents internal emotional conflict. You might also describe this sort of crisis as an internal struggle or challenge which a person must negotiate and deal with in order to grow and develop.

Erikson's 'psychosocial' term is derived from the two source words - namely psychological (or the root, 'psycho' relating to the mind, brain, personality, etc) and social (external relationships and environment), both at the heart of Erikson's theory. Occasionally you'll see the term extended to biopsychosocial, in which bio refers to life, as in biological.

Each stage involves a crisis of two opposing emotional forces. A helpful term used by Erikson for these opposing forces is 'contrary dispositions'. Each crisis stage relates to a corresponding life stage and its inherent challenges. Erikson used the words 'syntonic' for the first-listed 'positive' disposition in each crisis (e.g., Trust) and 'dystonic' for the second-listed 'negative' disposition (e.g., Mistrust). To signify the opposing or conflicting relationship between each pair of forces or dispositions Erikson connected them with the word 'versus', which he abbreviated to 'v'. (Versus is Latin, meaning turned towards or against.) The actual definitions of the syntonic and dystonic words (see Erikson's terminology below) are mainly irrelevant unless you have a passion for the detailed history of Erikson's ideas.

Successfully passing through each crisis involves 'achieving' a healthy ratio or balance between the two opposing dispositions that represent each crisis. For example a healthy balance at crisis stage stage one (Trust v Mistrust) might be described as experiencing and growing through the crisis 'Trust' (of people, life and one's future development) and also experiencing and growing a suitable capacity for 'Mistrust' where appropriate, so as not to be hopelessly unrealistic or gullible, nor to be mistrustful of everything. Or experiencing and growing through stage two (Autonomy v Shame & Doubt) to be essentially 'Autonomous' (to be one's own person and not a mindless or quivering follower) but to have sufficient capacity for 'Shame and Doubt', so as to be free-thinking and independent, while also being ethical and considerate and responsible, etc.

Erikson called these successful balanced outcomes 'Basic Virtues' or 'Basic Strengths'. He identified one particular word to represent the fundamental strength gained at each stage, which appear commonly in Erikson's diagrams and written theory, and other explanations of his work. Erikson also identified a second supporting 'strength' word at each stage, which along with the basic virtue emphasised the main healthy outcome at each stage, and helped convey simple meaning in summaries and charts. Examples of basic virtues and supporting strengths words are 'Hope and Drive' (from stage one, Trust v Mistrust) and 'Willpower and Self-Control' (from stage two, Autonomy v Shame & Doubt). It's very useful however to gain a more detailed understanding of the meaning behind these words because although Erikson's choice these words is very clever, and the words are very symbolic, using just one or two words alone is not adequate for truly conveying the depth of the theory, and particularly the emotional and behavioural strengths that arise from healthy progression through each crisis. More detail about basic virtues and strengths is in the Basic Virtues section.

http://www.businessballs.com/erik_erikson_psychosocial_theory.htm#erikson_psychosocial_theory_summary

  • 1 vote
Reply#1 - Sat Sep 25, 2010 12:29 PM EDT
not over it

Great article. It's very informative.

I haven't had any problems, to speak of, with my teenager yet. My son is 15 and is doing great. He is extremely independent, a good student, responsible and happy. My husband, on the other hand, can't seem to have a conversation with our son without it ending in a screaming match.

It's so frustrating, for me. I try not to interfere, too much, with their relationship but I just don't understand my husband. It's seems that sometimes he takes a stand on the stupidest issue just to prove that he is the adult of the household, when to me, makes him look like the child.

I have never been strict with my kids and they do not take advantage of it, most of the time. They aprreciate that I treat them as individuals, not my property. I think that's why I do not have the problems with my teenager that others have. He, literally, tells me everything. He trusts that he can and is still loved. I know he is going to screw up, here and there, and I want to make sure that he will come to me for help when he does.

  • 3 votes
Reply#2 - Sat Sep 25, 2010 12:57 PM EDT
GOZO-unlimited

Excellent insight and understanding...you have a lucky son and he has a terrific parent.

  • 2 votes
#2.1 - Sat Sep 25, 2010 2:40 PM EDT
not over it

you have a lucky son and he has a terrific parent.

Thanks but, to me, it feels like you have it backwards. I am the lucky one. :)

  • 2 votes
#2.2 - Sat Sep 25, 2010 4:02 PM EDT
GOZO-unlimited

That's the beauty of it....congratulations! Awesome!

  • 2 votes
#2.3 - Sat Sep 25, 2010 4:49 PM EDT
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